The Science of Parenting: Cutting Through the Noise with Evidence-Based Strategies

The Science of Parenting: Cutting Through the Noise with Evidence-Based Strategies

By Jacqueline Nesi, PhD

As parents, we are constantly navigating a labyrinth of decisions, calculations, and questions, inundated with advice and “new study says” headlines. It can feel difficult to cut through the noise and focus on what genuinely matters when raising our children. Luckily, the science of psychology offers clear, evidence-based guidance to help us approach parenting challenges, from managing screen time meltdowns to understanding teen mental health.

The Foundation: Warmth and Structure

If decades of research on parenting styles could be distilled into a single takeaway, it would be the concept of authoritative parenting. This style is characterized by high levels of both warmth and structure.

• Warmth involves showing affection, support, nurturing, and making it clear you love and accept your child. It means listening to them, offering independence and flexibility, and showing you enjoy being with them.
• Structure means setting consistent, predictable limits, rules, and expectations. Structure ensures children have boundaries, which helps them learn about the world and gradually become independent.

Authoritative parenting serves as a “North Star,” helping us cut through the noise and focus on these core components.

Navigating the Modern Age: Teens and Technology

Modern parenting frequently involves grappling with complex issues related to screens and technology.

Social Media and Mental Health

There is extensive debate regarding whether the introduction of social media contributed to the increase in mental health concerns among teens seen in the last 10 to 15 years. While the scientific conclusion is nuanced, the view is that social media has likely contributed to the teen mental health crisis (estimated probability around 75%). However, mental health crises are complex phenomena, and it is likely that there are multiple causes. By focusing on social media as the single, definitive cause, we risk ignoring many other crucial factors needed to support teens’ well-being.

The effects of phones and social media depend heavily on both how teens use the technology and who they are. Teens who are already struggling offline (socially, behaviorally, or emotionally) are more likely to struggle online. Potential risks associated with technology include:

1. Overuse, where technology interferes with essential activities like sleep, physical activity, or in-person socializing.
2. Harmful experiences, such as exposure to problematic mental health content or obsessing over “likes”.

Video Games: Risks and Benefits

Video games are nearly universal among U.S. teens, with 97% of boys and 83% of girls reporting that they play some kind of video game. Boys ages 8-18 spend, on average, 2 hours and 20 minutes per day gaming across devices.

Research spanning decades suggests that, in general, playing video games is not inherently harmful. Some evidence indicates that certain video games may offer cognitive benefits, such as improvements in working memory, spatial cognition, and attention. Video games also provide an important social outlet, especially for boys, with many playing online with friends regularly.

However, parents must consider what activities video games might be replacing. Excessive gaming has been associated with later bedtimes and lower academic performance, suggesting it can displace time needed for sleep and homework. For a small percentage of adolescents (estimated between 1% and 9%), video game use can become pathological, characterized by impaired control and increasing priority given to gaming over other interests and activities.

Evidence-Based Tools for Behavior Management

Effective discipline is defined as the entire system parents use to teach kids acceptable behavior through warmth, structure, and appropriate consequences. The theory of Operant Conditioning explains how consequences shape behavior.

• Behaviors followed by a good consequence (reinforcement) are more likely to happen in the future.
• Behaviors followed by a bad consequence (punishment) are less likely to happen in the future.

For young children, a parent’s attention is the ultimate positive consequence, even if that attention comes in the form of scolding or lecturing, making the unwanted behavior more likely to occur in the future.

Strategies for Stopping Screen Time Meltdowns

Meltdowns are common after screen time ends because stopping fun activities is difficult, and certain types of screen use can lead to short-term deficits in executive functioning skills needed for emotional regulation. To prevent these battles:

1. Be Consistent: If you set a limit, you must stick to it. Giving in when a child whines or tantrums teaches them that screaming is an effective way to get more screen time.
2. Plan and Give Warnings: Establish a plan in advance, letting the child know what to expect and giving simple warnings (e.g., “Five more minutes” or “One more episode”) before screen time is over.
3. Collaborate: Talk to your child about why transitions are hard for them and brainstorm coping skills to try when frustrated.
4. Consider Post-Screen Activities: Right after screen time, children may not be ready for cognitively-taxing activities like homework; low-energy activities (like a puzzle) or high-energy activities (like jumping jacks) may be better, depending on the child’s preferences.

Applying Consistency to Sleep

Behavioral sleep problems in young children (ages 1 to 7) can often be addressed using operant conditioning principles. The goal is to ignore behaviors you want to stop (like repeated yelling for you to return to the room) and reward behaviors you want to see more of (like falling asleep independently) with extreme consistency.

When implementing new limits around sleep, parents should anticipate an extinction burst. This means that when you start ignoring an unwanted behavior (like crying or protesting), it will likely get worse—louder, longer, or more extreme—before it gets better. Staying consistent during this time is critical for success.

If you are concerned about your child’s sleep or well-being, consulting a pediatrician or mental health professional is always recommended.

Finding Support: The Three-Legged Stool

Ultimately, the goal of evidence-based parenting is not to find one simple, definitive scientific answer to every question. Evidence-based practice relies on three essential components, likened to a “three-legged stool”:

1. The best available research evidence.
2. The parent’s experience, values, and expertise as parents.
3. The child’s characteristics, circumstances, and needs.

If you feel overwhelmed or are struggling with severe symptoms, remember that professional psychological treatment is available. You can look for evidence-based treatments like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and use directories like Psychology Today to find a provider.