The Slide to Psychologising Life – What We Can Do?

Identity and Coping Myths

Source: The Daily Declaration

Are modern coping strategies truly helping us flourish — or feeding a deeper hunger? Explore how psychological myths about happiness, growth, and identity may be leaving us emptier than before.

The Slide to Psychologising Life

How often do you read about ‘how to cope’ in the everyday press, and in professional magazines? Such writing is often presented as an endeavour to help us care more about others, and to be fair, is probably sincere at that level.

But how often are those efforts cover for the ‘good lies’ of the Father of Lies because they are roundly, soundly and pervasively reductionist? I suggest, often.

Indeed, authors such as Carl Trueman have been describing in detail how much of Western society has followed this pattern of thinking:

• Individual freedom is paramount

• That includes how we form our identity

• The critical focus point for identity has become our sexuality

• Sexual identity has become politicised into claims of ultimate autonomy rights

• And this takes us back to point ‘a’

I was reminded of this recently in listening to further debates about our core values in Australia. Beliefs about identity were excluded from the debates, apart from ethnic identity. But interestingly, each set of beliefs does have ideas about identity, and in our multicultural and multi-religious society, that means ideas about identity and coping can be very diverse.

However, it is probably fair to say that the majority of ‘secular’ Australians (those who are atheistic or pagan) broadly conform to the pattern identified by Trueman.

That means that when they are in personal distress, they would look to ideas of how to cope. And therein lay more deceits because those self-focused identity basic assumptions do not reflect reality well.

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Adopting Psychological Coping Strategies

Decades ago, Gerald May (in his 1982 Will and Spirit) started to observe this conundrum in what he called ‘psychological coping strategies’ within the helping professions. He noted that these strategies looked helpful (in what we would call wellbeing), but in fact fell short in inviting people to more mature places in their lives.

May claimed that many people who look for spiritual nourishment through modern psychological methods “often wind up increasingly hungry” (p. 11). He described three categories of hunger-inducing psychological methods, each of which we can see could be included within wellbeing strategies.

The Coping Mentality

In his description of ‘the coping mentality’, May suggested that people see life as one challenge after another, and that our wellbeing work is presented as seeking to overcome these stresses. Therefore, wellbeing success is determined by how well we minimise stress.

However, May claimed that maybe unpleasant things are a part of life from which we are called to learn. He suggested that if we try to avoid unpleasantness, or believe that we should never have any, we ultimately experience deeper loneliness because we believe we are being controlled (by our miseries), even though we are working to control all of life.

As he expressed it: “Seldom is any credence given to the possibility that something truly creative might come through these unpleasant feelings.” (pp. 12–13) If May was correct, then a question arises, “How does flourishing and wellbeing help with transforming unpleasantness into creativity?”

The Happiness Mentality

May’s second psychological myth is the ‘happiness mentality’. This is the myth that “… if one lives one’s life correctly, one will be happy”. The corollary is that “… if one is not happy, one is doing something wrong.” (p. 14) Therefore, “… any sign of unhappiness in their lives is a symptom of psychological or spiritual disorder”.

Such a way of thinking might lead to increased demand for wellbeing activities, but it does “deprive [us] of the rich dark side of life, the leaven, the creative complementarity without which happiness is empty.” (p. 15)

The Growth Mentality

May’s third identified shallow strategy, the ‘growth mentality’, carries the assumption that “… human beings can find wholeness of fulfilment through their creative potentials” (p. 18). This third strategy is consistent with the other two in fostering the belief that people can “… learn, earn, or otherwise achieve fulfilment by virtue of personal will” (p. 20). Despite its promises of encouragement and solutions, “… as long as it holds to the supremacy of self, however, these attempts are bound not only to fail but also to distort and confuse the search”.

All three attempts “… integrate psychology and spirituality within a framework where personal will, self-importance, or even psychology itself has the upper hand”. (p. 21). In contrast to these strategies, May (1982) suggested we should journey into deeper selflessness.

The difficulty inherent in our broken humanity is, as May suggests, that we have natural tendencies towards wilfulness in terms of our decision-making. This could include professional learning about wellbeing, if it feeds the myth of happiness through self-will.

And Today?

As we noted, Carl Trueman has described in depth that we live in an era where identity is publicly focussed through a politically sexualised lens. This way of viewing life thrives on the myth that we are our own. That myth is reinforced when we try and use the supposedly self-sufficient coping strategies outlined by May.

Those lies are sustained because we marginalise or dismiss the Creator God because we deny our own spirituality – the ‘unseens’ that are more important than the ‘seens’, as the apostle Paul put it. (2 Corinthians 4:18)

So, what can we do this week to help those around us be more attuned to the centrality of the non-physical aspects of our humanity – and hopefully, help them see more of the awe and wonder of the Creator through His Creation, rather than be focussed on a false basis for identity and coping?

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COMMENTARY

Introduction: The Hunger That Cannot Be Satisfied

We live in an age of unprecedented access to psychological resources. Self-help books, therapy apps, wellness retreats, and coping strategies are everywhere. And yet, anxiety, depression, and loneliness are at record highs.

Why?

Gerald May, writing decades ago, diagnosed the problem: modern psychological coping strategies often leave people “increasingly hungry.” They promise satisfaction but deliver emptiness. They offer tools but fail to address the deeper spiritual hunger of the human soul.

This article, drawing on the work of May and Carl Trueman, exposes three psychological myths that dominate contemporary wellbeing culture. Each myth, while appearing helpful, ultimately leads to greater dissatisfaction.

The Coping Mentality: Avoiding Unpleasantness

The first myth is that life is a series of challenges to be overcome, and wellbeing is measured by how well we minimise stress.

But May suggests that unpleasant things are not merely obstacles to be eliminated. They are part of life from which we are called to learn. If we try to avoid all unpleasantness, we miss the opportunity for transformation.

The coping mentality assumes that the goal is to return to a state of equilibrium. But what if God’s purpose for suffering is not to return us to where we were, but to move us to somewhere new? What if the unpleasantness is the very thing that produces creativity, resilience, and depth?

Scripture affirms this. James 1:2-4 tells us to “count it all joy” when we face trials, because the testing of our faith produces steadfastness. Romans 5:3-5 says that suffering produces endurance, endurance produces character, and character produces hope.

The coping mentality short-circuits this process. It treats suffering as a problem to be solved rather than a classroom to be entered.

The Happiness Mentality: The Tyranny of Joy

The second myth is that if we live correctly, we will be happy. The corollary is that if we are unhappy, we are doing something wrong.

This is a crushing burden. It turns every moment of sadness into a failure. It makes grief a disorder. It pathologises the normal emotional range of human life.

May warns that this mentality deprives us of “the rich dark side of life, the leaven, the creative complementarity without which happiness is empty.”

Scripture does not promise constant happiness. It promises joy that can coexist with sorrow. Jesus was a man of sorrows, acquainted with grief. Paul wrote of being sorrowful yet always rejoicing (2 Corinthians 6:10). The Psalms are filled with lament.

The happiness mentality is not biblical. It is a myth. And it leaves us emptier than before because it denies us the permission to feel the full range of human emotion.

The Growth Mentality: The Supremacy of Self

The third myth is that we can achieve fulfilment through our own creative potential. This is the belief that we can learn, earn, or otherwise achieve wholeness by our own will.

May warns that any attempt that holds “the supremacy of self” is bound to fail. It will not only fail but also distort and confuse the search.

This is the oldest lie of all: “You will be like God” (Genesis 3:5). The serpent promised that autonomy would lead to enlightenment. Instead, it led to exile.

The growth mentality is attractive because it appeals to our pride. It tells us that we are capable, that we have the power within us to become what we want to be. But it ignores the fundamental reality of human sin. We are not merely unfinished; we are broken. We do not just need growth; we need redemption.

The Sexualised Identity

Carl Trueman has documented how Western society has narrowed identity to sexuality. Our identity is said to be found in our desires, our attractions, our self-identified labels.

This is a reductionist view of the human person. It ignores the fact that we are spiritual beings, created in the image of God, with a calling that transcends our sexual desires.

When identity is reduced to sexuality, coping strategies are reduced to affirmation. The goal becomes not transformation but validation. And this, too, leaves people hungry.

The Biblical Alternative

The article points to the apostle Paul’s words in 2 Corinthians 4:18: “We look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal.”

Our coping strategies must be grounded in reality—not just the visible reality of our circumstances, but the invisible reality of God’s presence, purposes, and promises.

Suffering is not meaningless. It is not merely a problem to be solved. It is a pathway to deeper dependence on God, deeper empathy for others, and deeper hope for eternity.

Happiness is not the goal. Holiness is. Joy is the fruit of relationship with God, not the result of successful self-management.

Growth is not self-generated. It is the work of the Spirit, who transforms us into the likeness of Christ as we behold His glory (2 Corinthians 3:18).

What We Can Do

The article ends with a practical question: what can we do this week to help those around us be more attuned to the non-physical aspects of our humanity?

We can:

• Model dependence on God in our own struggles

• Speak honestly about our own sufferings without treating them as disorders

• Point others to the hope of resurrection, not just the mitigation of pain

• Read Scripture aloud, letting its ancient wisdom confront modern myths

• Pray with and for those who are struggling, inviting God into their pain

• Remind ourselves and others that we are not our own; we were bought with a price

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DECLARATIONS BASED ON THE ARTICLE

I DECLARE that suffering is not meaningless; it is a classroom for my soul!

I DECLARE that happiness is not the goal; holiness is!

I DECLARE that I am not autonomous; I am created in the image of God!

I DECLARE that my identity is not found in my desires but in Christ!

I DECLARE that psychological coping strategies are not enough; I need the Spirit of God!

I DECLARE that the “unseens” are more important than the “seens”!

I DECLARE that I will not avoid unpleasantness but learn from it!

I DECLARE that I will not measure my worth by my happiness!

I DECLARE that I will not trust in my own will to achieve fulfilment!

I DECLARE that my hunger is for God, and only He can satisfy it!

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PRAYER

Father, we confess that we have been captivated by the myths of our age. We have believed that we can cope on our own, that happiness is our right, and that we can grow through our own will.

Forgive us. Turn us from these lies. Help us to see that suffering is not meaningless, that joy can coexist with sorrow, and that true growth comes from surrender to You.

We repent of the reductionism that reduces identity to sexuality and coping to technique. Restore to us the fullness of what it means to be human: created in Your image, redeemed by Your Son, and being transformed by Your Spirit.

Teach us to look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal.

We ask this through Christ our Lord. Amen.

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